Meet the Fencer: Nicole Milewski
Weapon: Epee | Rating: A23 | Club Team: Cape Fear Fencing Association | College Team: UNC Chapel Hill
Nicole, at what age did you first pick up a fencing weapon? What made you want to start?
I started when I was eight or nine. Watching the 2012 Olympics, my sister and I saw fencing and she wanted to start, and then about six months after she started, I thought, “This is cool. I want to start, too.”
You’re 19 now. What is it about fencing that has held your attention all these years?
The stages of progress. From the time I was eight or nine until I was about 12 or 13 I was a lot taller than the other girls and I would just advance lunge down the strip and kind of bulldoze them. And then once I got older, I had to actually learn skills and technique and had to think more on the strip. I think that the progress that I’ve had to go through has held my attention because it’s never been stagnant over time. And then just the creativity in every bout. Fencing is not something that’s basic every time. When you’re up against a new opponent they’re doing different things, so you’re always doing something different in every bout you fence.
You’re the top woman epeeist on UNC Chapel Hill’s varsity fencing team. What do you think was a key factor in being recruited?
I think the results I was getting a year or two before I started doing the recruitment process. I think whenever I came in second at Div II at Nationals that was a big thing. You know even though they say ratings don’t matter, I was a B at the time I was trying to get recruited and I just re-earned my B, so they could see, OK she’s still making progress, she’s able to just renew this rating. But I also think talking to the schools that reached out and showed interest, just showing my personality was a big thing. I wasn’t just going to be like, “OK what do you want from me?” It was also about who I was outside of fencing. When I was on the Zoom with UNC the coach asked me, “What’s your comfort food?” Being able to show myself is something that helped me get recruited, too.
I like that. So, it wasn’t just your fencing results and rating that were important, but it was also your personality, who you were, them seeing your maturity level.
Exactly. And being very open with them I would say. Because during the debate between UNC and Temple when I was back-and-forth between which team I really wanted to pursue, I ended up going for UNC because of some family stuff with my sister getting sick and my dad going through some health issues. And so I was very open with the Temple coaches and the day I told them “Hey, I think I’m going to go with UNC because it’s closer to family,” being open and honest with them, I think they really appreciated. It wasn’t like I was like b-sing them and thinking “I’m going to lead you on to the very last minute.” It was very much “You’re one of my top two schools and this is the truth as to why I can’t decide to go there.”
Even though I didn’t end up at Temple, one thing that I really appreciated is that Dr. Nikki Franke [Temple’s coach who recently retired] called Coach Spahr because they have a relationship from when he coached at Johns Hopkins and she asked him if he thought I’d hit my plateau. And he said, “Honestly, I think if she goes somewhere with A and B-rated fencers, she can grow so much. She’s not plateauing.” Which I think is also something that helped me get onto a college team, too, is that I wasn’t plateauing. I was showing progress throughout my results and I was still eager to get better. I wasn’t saying “Yeah, I can come and I can be at the top because I’m the best.” It was “I’m willing to work and I’m willing to show that I can still get better, still contribute, I can do what you want me to do.” Which is also why I got Most Improved Woman Fencer at UNC this past year.
You’ve achieved success at the local, regional and national level over the years. What are the one or two results that have the most meaning or that stick out most in your mind?
First, I would say my Div II silver medal at Nationals. Because it was my highest finish, but also because I was a C19 at the time and this was when I was doing the college recruiting process. It was my last day at Nationals, my fifth event, and I was like, “I need to up my rating right now. I can’t not up my rating right before I’m applying to these colleges.” It was important because I was able to come in with a great result at a time when it was needed. I put pressure on myself, but it was just the right amount that I was able to achieve my goal to get a B rating coming out.
I think the other time was with you [Christi Golder] and Erica [Julien] when we did the team event a few years ago. I think that one was so important because we were down 24-40 and won. Not even just the comeback, which obviously, yes it was amazing to come back and win it, but the thing was realizing I wanted to do that for my team. I looked over and I saw everyone’s faces and I didn’t want to give up for the team. In that moment, it was the most selfless that I’ve fenced. It felt so good to be able to do that for other people. I wasn’t fencing for myself—I was fencing for the team. And I didn’t even think when I won, it wasn’t like “Oh my gosh, I won it. It was we won it.” What that win meant for our team was really important for me. Seeing how your own leadership and energy can lift other people up.
To what do you attribute your success?
I would say all my lessons with Coach Spahr. I started when I was nine or 10 and I won’t lie, there were times I used to cry coming down to practice because I had to focus and I had to do well in my lessons. And then when I hit about 15, I remember I was excited to go to lessons because I got to learn more and just focus on my skills. I’ve probably done thousands of hours’ worth of lessons with him. But I also say the support I receive. Obviously, my dad supports me a lot. And also the teammates at the club. We have a very welcoming environment. And I feel like it was never that you would come in and feel like you had to win all the time. You could have fun. And I think that also helps in your creativity. So the fun on top of the creativity on top of “This is what I need to focus on to do my lessons and develop my skills.” And just the support of my dad and family. It was never like I was alone. And at times when I was struggling, I had people to talk to. That was very important to my success.
That dovetails into what I was going to ask you about this club. You’ve always fenced for Cape Fear Fencing Association. What are a few things about this club that you appreciate the most?
I appreciate the support and I feel like even on your down days where some places it might be like “I beat her tonight,” here at CFFA it’s more of “Are you OK? Is there something going on?” It’s never this toxic energy of “I’m beating this person, you’re beating them.” It’s “Oh my gosh, you beat me tonight. That was a really good bout. You did this really well.” Just the positivity in the room.
We also have a lot of fencers who have been here a very long time, so I feel like the kids coming in are really lucky. I didn’t realize how much I appreciate it until I left for college. I come back and I’m with people who’ve been here my whole life, like Brendan [McConville], Herman [Smith], Coach [Spahr]. They’ve seen me grow up. It’s not a fencing club. It’s home. I always call this my second home. I had this conversation with my dad. It’s my sanctuary. I come here, and everything else that’s going on in my life is gone. I’m just focusing on my fencing. I’m around people who are positive. Any worries are wiped away as soon as I walk in that door.
I love that. It’s something that you wish everybody would have.
Exactly. And that’s why, with the kids coming in now, I want to be a role model for them, because I had role models. I want to stay here until I’m old so for kids coming in, I want to be that Brendan and Herman and Paul [Perkins] and Robert [Thomas] the way they were to me.
Your dad has talked about a “growth mindset” being a big part of your success, both on and off the fencing strip. Can you talk a little about what that means?
I definitely agree with that. There’s been times when my results have kind of tanked or I thought I wasn’t doing that well and with that growth mindset I find myself thinking “Why is this not going well?” Just figuring out why something is happening and then looking back and trying to do better. When I was 15 or 16, I decided I want to get better, I don’t want this to be my top. So I started going to the gym at home, more than just showing up here at the club. I think that was really important.
At the most recent Nationals, the first day I had a really bad mental block. I had a hard time being in the bout, being in the moment. I almost didn’t care about the results and how I did. And I remember the next morning I woke up and I was in that same kind of mindset and I was like “I can’t be this way. I can’t do this because I know if I go in with this mindset, I’m not going to do well.” And so actually, one of the techniques that I learned in my Sports Psych class in college was every time I had a negative thought come into my mind, I would either say to myself “Stop” and completely shut off that thought or say “How can I make this positive?” So, if I was really tired or it was a long flight, I would say “I’m tired now, but I still have a few hours to get hyped up and I can use this time to take the rest I need, so when I’m at the convention center I can do well.” I also think having a growth mindset in the moment in competitions is very important. Rather than letting yourself spiral and shut down, it’s about “What can I do in this moment to make sure I’m good for the bouts I have ahead of me?”
It’s the idea that one bad day of fencing doesn’t have to become bigger than it is. You can learn what you want to improve on and not always be results-oriented in your mentality. I didn’t get the win here, but at least I figured out how this person fences so that if I face them again, I have tools in my toolbox.
Yeah. Junior day, the day I came in ninth at Nationals [out of 278 competitors], I lost my warmup bouts 5-0. I wasn’t hitting a single thing. I was getting blown out. So, I analyzed what it was in my warmup bouts that I did that wasn’t working and I told myself, “I’m not going to do those things in competition.”
You’re in your sophomore year at UNC. What are your long-term goals related to fencing?
Short term goal wise into long term goals, last year I didn’t really do any NACs or national competitions except for Junior Olympics and Nationals because I wanted to focus on our team environment. At the time our team had some issues and there were only three of us who were able to compete in the fall season. So, I wanted to give my all to the team. There were only three of us we could rely on. We had no subs until spring semester. This year I want to focus also on my national results and fence more nationally and go to all the events that I can. And then long term, I want to get on the Div I points list and I want to excel on the Div I points list, but I also just want to keep keep building my game. I think that’s really important because I feel like you can’t progress without building onto what you have right now.
What are your long-term goals related to academics and your future career?
I’m majoring in exercise science right now and then I’m hoping to go to physical therapy school and also do a dual program in physical therapy and athletic training. My long-term huge goal is to work with a professional sports team in athletic training. I’m thinking hockey or basketball or football. I find ice hockey really interesting and the type of injuries you see.
Lastly, what’s a piece of advice you’d give to a young person who’s just starting out in fencing or even the parent of that young person?
I would say, expect bumps and don’t let the bumps in the road make you stop. Because especially as a beginner, it can be hard when you’re losing to people and you feel like “How can I keep up with them?” But if you stick with this sport long enough, you will make that progress. It’s hard when you start off but just keep sticking with it.
